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2. I kinda want a ghost that haunts me.

I kinda want a ghost that haunts me.

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3. I’m thinking those nails would pierce right through my hand.

4. Awwww, those ghosts look like adorable snowmen.

Awwww, those ghosts look like adorable snowmen.

5. Wait, are those the Campbell Soup Kids?

Wait, are those the Campbell Soup Kids?

6. That is one shifty-looking ghost.

That is one shifty-looking ghost.

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7. “You’re not a saint” might be code for you’re a slut.

"You

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8. I didn’t know Gwyneth Paltrow had a line of Valentine’s Day cards.

I didn

9. Let this scary skeleton with cavity-ridden teeth let your loved one know how you really feel.

Let this scary skeleton with cavity-ridden teeth let your loved one know how you really feel.

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10. This ghost is so deep.

This ghost is so deep.

11. This witch has it bad.

This witch has it bad.

12. Hold on, is that vampire killing those hearts?

Hold on, is that vampire killing those hearts?

13. I don’t know about you, but I find the rat to be the most disturbing thing about this card.

I don

14. I seriously think that they just slapped some hearts on what is clearly a Halloween card.

I seriously think that they just slapped some hearts on what is clearly a Halloween card.

15. The cute little frog appears to have a serious thing for Frankenstein.

The cute little frog appears to have a serious thing for Frankenstein.

16. The blood tear is a nice touch, very True Blood.

The blood tear is a nice touch, very True Blood.

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17. OK, so this is not Halloween-themed, but it’s so horrifying it should be.

OK, so this is not Halloween-themed, but it

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18. Missed opportunity, they totally could’ve used the word “boo” on the card.

Missed opportunity, they totally could

19. I’m not entirely sure why the Wolf Man needs a knife.

He has claws!

20. By the look in its eyes, this ginormous cat is going to eat that little girl.

By the look in its eyes, this ginormous cat is going to eat that little girl.

21. This devil is giving me a skeez and gross vibe…

This devil is giving me a skeez and gross vibe...

22. …and this card is giving me Steve Buscemi vibes.

...and this card is giving me Steve Buscemi vibes.

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23. Shhhh….. she is getting ready to toss that little boy into her cauldron.

Shhhh..... she is getting ready to toss that little boy into her cauldron.