Send Head Pro your toughest problems at headpro@betcheslovethis.com
Dear Head Pro,
Hope you"re doing well and everything is Gucci. So tragic backstory; girl meets boy and becomes a booty call. To be honest we had a pretty good thing going; he lived really close by and we would "hang out" and I would sleep over and the end. Super cool, drama free and a lot of boning. THEN one day it became boning and then some. I mean I was still pretty much in the fuck zone but I was a little more than a booty call and still very far from being his girlfriend (which I was perfectly okay with). He texted me while the sun was out (cray) for the sake of fucking texting (hella cray). This became a daily thing where he would text or I would blah blah.
Now here lies the problem, we would be texting all the time but we never saw each other and it had been a solid month and a half. Granted he would say we needed to see each other soon and blah blah. But we never did. Like are we gonna fuck or nah? So I tried dropping some heavy ass hints and still nothing.
SO, I took advice from a friend, she said just be upfront because why the fuck not. I was very explicit with wanting to see him and the asshole has not responded. It"s been three days. I"m unbelievably pissed, because I know he"s always on his phone so he fucking saw the message and he had the audacity to not respond.
I need help because I don"t fucking get it. Does this sort of shit happen to a lot of people? Do guys do this sometimes? I have a reason to be upset right? I mean it"s okay if he doesn"t want to have sex, it"s his body and it"s up to him to do what he wants with it. But to lead me on and not say anything when it"s "over"?!?!
Sincerely,
I don"t even
Dear I don’t even,
This is literally the worst email I’ve gotten in a long time. I think, though, that there’s a legitimate question under all the bullshit – why did this guy, after things seemed to be going along so well (relatively speaking), have the “audacity” to wait 3+ days to respond to a text? Man, life sure is hard sometimes.
Let’s get the obvious possibility out of the way – he ghosted. The Head Betches wrote something about that already, so go there. There are also (judging by your attitude and general demeanor) other possibilities. Things seemed to progress pretty normally – started as a hookup thing, progressed to “boning and then some” (anal?), and got to the point where he was texting you during the day, seemingly just to talk! Along the way, it seemed like you weren’t much more than an active participant in the whole thing: You liked the fuck buddy scenario, and were “pretty ok with” being more but not a couple. Suffice it to say, you don’t sound like you’ve ever been too enthusiastic about any of this.
Setting aside for the moment the idea that if he wanted to see you he could have (true), what about you? Your friend told you to “be direct,” and your response was to drop ham-fisted hints about sex, seemingly the opposite direction the relationship was taking? Did you ever bother, I dunno, inviting him somewhere, or asking if he wanted to hang out one night? I know no one wants to look like a needy loser, nor does anyone want to really put themselves out there to be rejected, but still. Like, you have a brain and working fingers; you have some agency in this. Would extending an invitation and being rejected really be any worse than the situation you’re in now?
Sure, maybe he’s an asshole who ghosted. But it’s also possible that he grew disenchanted with your reluctance to put any effort into the advancement of the relationship, especially if he really digs you. That annoys guys. From our perspective, it sucks to feel like the only one who cares.
Nothing is Gucci,
Head Pro
Dear Head Pro,
I have something of a nightmare roommate situation. First, a bunch of my shit (cups, cookware etc) has gone missing. There are two roommates, but I’m pretty sure I know who it is. The same girl who I think is stealing all my shit has also taken things up a notch in that she recently discovered some bugs in the apartment. Gross, yeah, I know. Easy solution, right? Not in her case. First, she demands that anything the exterminator sprays be “non-toxic and organic,” which costs a lot more (I checked). Second, because she spends most of her time at her boyfriend’s place, she doesn’t feel obligated to pay for it (she already tried to pull the same shit with utilities for that reason). Like, the landlord will cover the cost of the first extermination, but we want one to come by every so often to make sure they stay gone, which we’d have to pay for.
I know I should probably just move, but that sounds like a huge pain in the ass. Help?
Sincerely,
Bugging out
Dear Bugging out,
Oh God, roommates are the fucking worst. Every time I hear a story like this, I’m so thankful I don’t have them anymore. Yes, in your case moving would be the simplest solution, but obviously the hardest one because moving sucks donkey dick. Movers, knowing this, will charge you approximately $100,000 per item because they know it’s still better than doing it yourself. The good thing is, because your shit is slowly disappearing, soon you won’t have much to move!
Look: Your roommate cannot hold the entire apartment hostage over her dipshit lifestyle choices, specifically not when health and hygiene are at risk. I appreciate handling animals humanely, and non-toxic pest control is pretty normal now, but organic? How is that even a thing? Doesn’t “organic” literally mean without pesticides? Like, why does that matter to her? Does she want to be able to lick the floors? Does she want dead bugs, or does she want a house that smells like citrus (and also has bugs)? If she’s so concerned with being organic and living harmoniously with the cockroaches, tell her to pitch a fucking tent in the backyard and hang out with them.
I say you do what needs to be done and tell her to fuck off if she complains about the non “organic” stuff. Like, what’s the worst that could happen, she moves out? Good! Her justification for not paying for it is complete and utter bullshit, but it’s hard to force someone to pay for things not included in the lease, and taking her to court over it sounds awful. Just pester the shit out of her for it until she feels too uncomfortable to move. As for your missing stuff, c’mon – have you really not snooped around their rooms to determine who it is? If you find it, don’t say anything about it – just take it back. If it goes missing again, you can explode on the culprit.
Or just move,
Head Pro
Send Head Pro your toughest problems at headpro@betcheslovethis.com
Why Did This Guy Stop Answering My Texts Out Of Nowhere? Ask A Pro
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